


Hazy Fuzz

by mikes_grrl



Category: Hot Fuzz (2007)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-10-16
Updated: 2007-10-16
Packaged: 2017-10-02 07:10:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikes_grrl/pseuds/mikes_grrl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s all Doris’ fault. At least, that is what they’ll say in the morning…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hazy Fuzz

**Author's Note:**

> Long drunken make-out scene (didn’t someone request that?) followed by some hardcore action. And there is a moment in here inspired by Danny shooting his gun out of the car and yelling “Bang! Bang!” OMG what COULD she talking about? (tee hee!)
> 
> ON NON-CON WARNING: Personally, I don't consider this non-con, I consider it drunk!sex fic. But without a doubt, Nicholas is really too incapacitated too say no even if he wanted to, and I know some people have issues with that, which is why I warned for it.

This was how Nicholas Angel found out that the hardest drinker in the department was Doris: she drank the Andes under the table. The knowledge did not come cheap, because it was earned from participating in the drinking game that Tony, of all people, called Smak the Walrus (at some point Nicholas remembered that someone – Walker? – told him it was a Beatles’ reference, but he was not convinced of that).

Danny knew that the game was dangerous. Last time he played it, he ended up handcuffed to the gate of the castle, butt naked. The Andes claimed innocence, and for all their pranks, they might have been. No one played Smak the Walrus without accepting the risk. He tried warning Nicholas, pointing out that slamming cranberry juice was not exactly proper training for taking on Doris. Nicholas laughed at him, assuming that the Andes would pull ahead quickly to battle each other to the end and he, Danny, Doris, Tony and the Turners would fall out of the game and end up playing darts or something.

Danny knew better. _Everyone_ knew better. But as usual, no one could convince Nicholas that anyone knew better than he did.

\------

“Christ where are we?”

“Nick, we’re…uh…here.”

“Where’s here?”

“My place?”

“Oh…god, I feel sick.”

“I warned you.” Danny lay back on the couch, one arm thrown over his face, the absolute picture of disintegration.

“Doris is a monster.” Nicholas did not make it to the couch. He was sitting on the floor, his legs sprawled around him, blinking with the exertion of staying vertical.

“Yeah. Told ya.”

“Where is Tony?”

“Oh…” Danny looked up and around. “Hmm. Didn’t he say somethin’ about swimming with the swans?”

“He’ll…he’ll get hyperthermia…in this weather…” Nicholas was talking slowly, hiccuping.

Danny looked at him pitilessly. He warned him. Damn fool paying his own price for this.

“Danny?”

“Yes, Nicholas.”

“Help?” Nicholas held his arms out as a child might to do, asking to be picked up. He really wanted to be on the couch and Danny was the only way he was getting there.

“Mmph. You’re drunk.”

“Oh, yes. Yes, I am…” Nick nodded and flapped his hands.

Danny sighed and leaned forward, grabbed Nicholas’ flapping hands, and pulled. The result was unexpected: Nicholas landed on top of him. Startled, they both froze for moment, then Nicholas tried to gain some purchase on the couch in order to move.

“’Ey! Nick! Watch it, my bits!” Danny squealed and reached down to grab the offending knee. This was how Danny discovered that Nicholas Angel was, actually, incredibly ticklish. Nicholas let out his own version of a squeal and collapsed completely, laughing. Danny had to wrap his arms around Nicholas to keep him from falling all the way back down to the floor, which after all the effort they put forth so far seemed too great a sacrifice. This only started Nicholas laughing more, as Danny’s hands dug into his ribs and he felt like he was being tickled to death.

“Stop!”

“You stop!”

Danny twisted so that he mashed Nicholas into the back of couch, effectively trapping him there with his own body. Nicholas had a death grip on Danny’s shirt. Danny moved his upper arm to rest above Nicholas on the couch, and pulled his lower arm out and used it to prop up his head. They were entirely too close, facing each other. Nicholas hiccupped and slid one arm through the arm Danny was using to rest his head, his hand resting on Danny’s hair.

“You’re pissed, Nicky.” Danny smiled with a small giggle.

Nicholas only nodded, and rested his head against Danny’s chest. Danny was warm and solid and very, very comforting to Nicholas’ entirely addled mind. Danny dropped his other hand down and set it against Nicholas’ back. He thought Nick had a perfect body, for a man, and he often convinced himself that touching it was not something he ever thought about. Touching it, in fact, felt marvelous. He began rubbing his hand up and down Nick’s hard and muscled back, massaging muscles as he found them. His eyes were closed and he just concentrated on the sensations running through his hand. Slowly he came to the realization that Nick’s fingers were running through his hair and, feeling himself stirring through the alcohol haze of his brain, Danny’s ideas about Nicholas’ body took a new turn.

\------

Danny’s hand felt incredible, massaging his back. Nicholas’ taste for men was not something he allowed himself to indulge in, due more to logistics than anything. That, and his concern over the impact it would have on his career. This was logistically perfect, though, laying in Danny’s arms and feeling him all over his body. His head was still resting on Danny’s chest and he felt Danny’s hand grow stronger and braver on his back, so he used his free hand to reach out and pull himself closer into Danny. He pulled Danny’s upper leg between his, not to far, just a light clutch of his knees. He had no idea how long they laid like that, on their sides, facing each other, petting and clutching and suggesting, before he finally looked up at Danny.

Danny’s eyes were closed and the look on his face was blissful as he touched Nicholas and enjoyed Nicholas’ hand running through his hair. Nicholas went to pull himself up, which broke the spell, and Danny looked at him, startled. They stared at each other for a second, then they both giggled. Nicholas felt unbalanced, but he knew what he wanted to do, and continued dragging himself up until he wrapped Danny’s head into his arm and tilted his head and kissed him.

Danny squeezed him and rolled so that Danny was more on his back, and Nicholas more on top. Nicholas let his leg drop between Danny’s and he felt Danny’s erection. He moved his leg in, pressing against Danny’s pants, until he felt Danny groan in resistance.

Their kiss was getting deeper and deeper. Nicholas ran his tongue in and out of Danny’s mouth; he loved that sensation, the quick, light taste of his mouth. He turned his head one way and then another, angling here and there, until Danny reached up with his free hand locked it on the back of Nicholas’ head to keep it still. The force of his grip made Nicholas dizzy; he was still so drunk that any real pressure put him off balance.

Danny pressed Nicholas’ head down to his until their mouths were locked together, their tongues sliding against each other for lack of anywhere else to go. Nicholas rested himself on Danny, letting Danny hold him where he was, as he moved his hands over Danny’s arms. He loved Danny’s arms, he admitted as he caressed them. Danny was a large man and Nicholas loved that he could grasp his arms without fear of hurting him. Nicholas knew how strong he was and that most people underestimated him, so he was usually very concerned with hurting his lovers on accident, but that fear was gone, simply gone with the solidity of Danny. Nicholas reached his tongue into Danny’s mouth and he gripped Danny’s shoulders as he thought about how forceful he could be now without reservations. Danny could take it.

Danny surprised him by moving one hand down to his ass. Nicholas broke off the kiss, laughing.

“What’s that?”

“That’s me, grabbin’ your ass?”

Nicholas snorted until he felt Danny’s other hand drop down from his head to run along his chest, and lower, his hand moving further, placing it between Nicholas’ legs, but avoiding Nicholas’ cock, instead rubbing the upper inner thigh area with the tips of his fingers while his other hand squeezed Nicholas’ ass. Nicholas gasped at the sensation and threw his head back, pulling in air to his lungs. Danny tilted his head up a bit and kissed Nicholas’ neck, not sucking but nibbling, running his tongue along the muscles and tendons and then down to the top of the collarbone. He pulled up his hand again and found Nicholas’ chest and began a very earnest exploration of his nipples through his shirt.

Nicholas felt himself light headed again and he lowered his mouth back onto Danny’s while he felt the electric charge of Danny’s hands on him. He drifted off, thinking that this was by far the best drinking game ever.

\------

He came back to find them sitting up. They were facing each other and he was essentially on Danny’s lap and he registered the fact that he could feel Danny’s erection through his pants, an indistinct but firm desire pressing against them both. Nicholas had his legs wrapped around Danny’s waist and hips and Danny’s hands were under his shirt, running slowly up and down bare skin while they kissed languidly and deeply. Nicholas was not sure what happened in the meantime, but he was sorry to have missed it. His hands were still roaming over Danny’s arms – he did love those arms – and he consciously moved them up to Danny’s neck and head. He turned Danny’s head and moved his mouth to cover one of Danny’s ears, running his tongue over the outer folds of skin as he slowly worked into the sensitive inner areas of his ear. He heard and felt Danny groan, grabbing him, pulling Nicholas’ body tightly into his. Nicholas stopped and gasped for air.

“You alright, Nicky?” Danny looked up at him, his eyes glazed with desire and intoxication.

“Yes, just…breathing.”

“Good thing t’do.”

“Yes.”

They sat still for a few moments and Nicholas felt himself inside a wave of sobriety; something told him it would not last, that the alcohol was still pumping through his veins in levels that would kill small animals and would soon cycle back to his brain. He breathed deeply, considering the situation.

“Danny, this is…”

“Good?”

“Yes. That too. But maybe we should…move.”

“Yeah.”

Danny took the opposite approach that Nicholas had in mind, stretching back and pushing his hips up into Nicholas, who gasped.

“Sure you okay, Nick?”

“I haven’t done this much, Danny…” Nicholas blinked.

“This?”

“I mean, with…men. A man. Like this.”

“Not much?”

“A little.”

“Oh.”

“But you’re fine?”

“Oh I’ve done this a lot, Nicky…”

“…You _have_?”

“Shhh.” Danny placed both hands on Nicholas’ ass and dragged him into his hips, and Nicholas knew he was in trouble, but it felt so incredibly good and he had not had anything like sex in nearly two years and even fully dressed this was heavenly. The haze came back and he bent his head against Danny’s neck and began kissing his skin, sucking and nibbling every inch he could find. Danny breathed heavily in pleasure and ground their hips together again.

Danny moved his head until he found Nicholas’ mouth and they were kissing. Danny sucked lightly on Nicholas’ lower lip, running his tongue over the trapped skin, while Nicholas slid his tongue over Danny’s upper lip, back and forth, building a light heat from the friction. Danny’s hands moved up to roaming under Nicholas’ shirt again. Nicholas felt himself dialing down as they kissed, his brain unlocking from consciousness, and he thought just maybe he was drowning in Danny’s arms.

\------

“Nick?”

“Hmm?”

“I…I…want…”

“S’okay Danny.”

“Really?”

“Mmmhmm. Whatever.”

“I just want to show you…”

“Yeah, Danny…s’okay.”

“Ahhhh Nicholas…”

\----

_…and then…_  
Nicholas’ mind reassembled itself later to the sensation of being on his back, Danny pressing down hard on his shoulder with one hand and…

_Sweetjeesusmotherofgodthatfuckinghurts!_

He sucked in his breath and looked up. Danny was over him, on his knees on the couch, his shirt unbuttoned and his pants dropped down, his hips grinding into Nicholas’ ass as Danny’s cock plowed up inside him.

“Unnnhhhh…ohghod…” It was Danny, pushing into him, pushing him down, and the pain rendered Nicholas speechless. He threw his arms out to the side, grabbing the couch for traction as the force of Danny’s powerful hips shoved up against him.

In the next moment Danny breathed in as he pulled out, almost completely out, just the head of his cock still inside him, and Nicholas braced himself for release from this. He was still phenomenally drunk and could not think of anything to say or do and was just waiting for Danny to back off so he could roll to the floor and deal with this new, all encompassing pain.

Danny’s grip on his hip and his shoulder tightened and Nicholas barely had time to gasp before Danny moved back into him, sheathing himself completely up to the base of his cock.

_Godalmightlythatfuckinghurtsimgoingtobesick!_ Nicholas felt his abdominal muscles crunch together.

“Guuuunnnhhhh…” Danny was sweating and panting and his eyes were closed and he was moving very slowly. He stopped, holding himself inside of Nicholas, and looked down at him. “Heyyyy…” He smiled. “Gaw Nicholas you’re fucking pretty…”

Nicholas never in his whole life was pretty and he never in his whole life was violated like this and he was in so much pain he really thought he was going to start crying.

“Y’okay?”

Nicholas shook his head, praying that Danny would back off. Now.

He did not. Instead he pulled Nicholas with him as he sat back on his heels, which only pushed his cock further into Nicholas, who cried out, trying to support himself with his hands. Danny kept still after that but held onto Nicholas’ hip with a vice grip. Nicholas felt himself going lightheaded.

“It only hurts at first, Nicky, I swear…” Danny made a small, short thrust and Nicholas bucked in agony. Danny was not watching any more, his eyes closed, now both hands holding Nicholas’ hips. He started making fast thrusts, banging into Nicholas harder and more quickly and with all the strength he had, their skin slapping together in a loud, wet noise. Nicholas’ light-headedness turned to dizziness and the pain started to ebb away as his body flushed.

“Fuckin’ gahhhh…Nick you are so tight and oh god…Fuckin’ YEAH…” Danny’s head bent down and he hunched over Nicholas, pulling himself up, back onto his knees, continually thrusting into Nicholas as he leaned further forward, holding Nicholas’ body as he might push a wheelbarrow in front of him, his strong arms holding Nicholas just where he wanted him to be.

Nicholas could feel Danny’s cock swelling inside him and he heard Danny start to gasp between breaths. He reached out one arm to grab Danny’s forearm, but he could not decide if he was pulling him down or pushing him off and he clutched it, confused, the dizziness turning darker.

Danny was moaning. “AhhhhNicky y’feel so goooood….” His thrusts slowed down but became more violent as he stopped himself at the top, holding himself deep inside Nicholas before quickly sliding out and slamming back into him. He started building up speed again as he called out. “Nick…ohhh…NICKfuck!...fuck!....fuck!...fuck!” Danny was yelling the word in time with his motions.

Nicholas’ consciousness went black.

\-----

He woke up curled on his side on the couch, bare naked from the waist down, still feeling slightly drunk. Danny was laying, nude, sprawled over the other end, comatose. Nicholas’ first incredible thought was that he had been raped by Danny, but then he remembered…Danny asked…didn’t he? He did. Nicholas told him it was alright. They were kissing and…Nicholas reconstructed the whole scene, as many bits and pieces of it as he could remember, backwards, and nearly groaned when he got to he part where he kissed Danny first. Nicholas had not been unaware of the faint sexual tension between them, but never, not in a thousand years, did he expect…

A hard on.

He blinked and body checked and ran a hand down himself to verify what his mind was telling him. Just remembering the kisses was getting him hard. And hadn’t he been getting aroused, with Danny inside him, right before he blacked out? Danny inside him…it was a strange thought and Nick pushed his head into the armrest and arched his back as his hand slid down over his cock and suddenly, unexpectedly, he realized that he was masturbating to the idea of Danny fucking him. He froze, but only for a moment, as the sounds and memories of Danny on top of him filled his mind.

It hurt, and he felt sore now, a full-body ache he was not going to loose for days. Still…his hand stroked his own erection and he breathed in deeply and closed his eyes, trying to recall how it felt…other than the pain…how it felt…as Danny pushed into him…he reached his other arm up and over his head to grab the arm rest, to brace himself. He knew where this was going, and he wanted to go there.

He wet his hand down with spit and returned to stroking himself. He let his fingers dip down to caress his balls on the down stroke, almost tickling himself. No lover ever got that sensation right but he loved it and it was one trick that was all his own. He did it repeatedly as his hand moved languidly up and down his shaft until his breathing changed to something deeper and faster. He moved one leg to the floor, gingerly, still feeling pain in that whole region, and braced himself. He squeezed his cock hard in mid stroke and then started moving his hand faster. His mind was filled with the question of what Danny looked like when he came inside him, and he imagined Danny’s hips pressing against his ass and he wondered how deep Danny could go if he was face down instead. It was an entirely new idea for Nicholas to dream of being fucked doggie style by anyone but it sent chills down his spine and he groaned, his eyes tightly shut, his hand slipping up and over his cock faster and faster.

“Danny…” He whispered it, almost scared of the name, but certain that is how he wanted to come. And then he felt a hand on his knee and he jerked up to a sitting position in surprise, almost crashing his head into Danny’s face.

“I’m here, Nicholas.” Danny kissed him and Nicholas’ could taste the beer and the liquor they had drunk and the sweat on Danny’s skin. As they kissed Nicholas started on himself again and he felt Danny’s hands on each knee, pressing his legs further apart, and Nicholas’ started shaking. Nicholas bobbed his head away and darted kisses onto Danny’s mouth.

“What’cha thinking’?” Danny asked in between the kisses, smiling, as if this were the most normal situation in the whole world. Nicholas decided that maybe it was.

“I’m thinking…how I want you to fuck me…next time…” He could barely talk and his exertions were making the whole couch shudder.

“Ay, me too!” Danny smiled broadened. The look in his eyes was delightful and hungry and one glance finally sent Nicholas toppling over the edge. He felt his cock swell and change and he threw himself back onto the couch, Danny still holding his legs apart, and Nicholas grabbed his dick with both hands as he bucked his hips. He still felt pain radiating from his ass but it was nearly sweet in the moment, making every sensation sharper and more intense. He slammed his hands down on his cock as he exploded.

“GodDannyfuck FUCK me!”

He gasped for air and lay still as his come dripped over his hands. He only felt surprise at himself as he looked up at Danny, who it turned out had moved one hand to stroke his own hard on.

“Sure, I want to but this time y’going turn over.”

####


End file.
